at the moment i’m writing this blog post, i’m currently 22 weeks pregnant with my second son. and after how freaking hard and the birth trauma i had to go through, and i’m still processing after my first son Revan’s (pronounced Evan with an “R”) labor and birth — i made a promise to myself to have this pregnancy be different.
not that anything was wrong with my first pregnancy, in fact, i describe it as almost perfect.
MY FIRST BIRTH STORY + EXPERIENCE
but labor was another story, unfortunately. my waters broke and started leaking on Tuesday, i started feeling more labor waves and contractions on Wednesday through Sunday. it was on Sunday i was exhausted enough where i knew i couldn’t actually deliver our first son on my own, like we planned — at our home.
back labor and prodromal labor dominated this experience, and it was so hard.
after being admitted into the hospital for being in active labor (there was almost no freaking way i was getting back in the car to go back home after we had tried going to 3 different urgent care centers under suspicion i had a bladder or kidney infection), my husband and i decided to stay overnight.
i was given some strong pain meds to actually get some sleep and save up my strength for birthing my son, but he had different plans. we were woken up at 3am saying that the safest option for our baby was to go into an emergency c-section. in the last hour of monitoring, he became tachycardic and his heart was beating too fast. he was no longer taking labor well.
we opted to go through a cesarean section to meet our baby! when the doctor delivered him, he wasn’t crying, he was having trouble breathing, and there were other signs that he wasn’t responding well to the outside world. our team suggested he get admitted into the NICU right away.
Revan Edwin was born at 4am, and he was driven to the NICU without us and checked in at 8am. he was put on a cooling blanket for 3 days — the hope was to give his body some time to recover and prevent any further potential brain damage that he may have sustained during birth.
we were in the NICU for a total of 7 days with our son. from there, that was also the start of my pumping journey as he wasn’t able to have any breast milk as nutrition until his 4th day of life.
CHOOSING DIFFERENTLY + INTENTIONALLY
so to say that my first birth experience wasn’t what i anticipated or wanted (a calm homebirth) is literally the most massive understatement.
which is why it was so important to me to make our second pregnancy, and second birth experience VERY different. what could i have some control over? what could i change? how i could prepare in the way that is in my own capacity?
here are some of the things that i’ve done more intentionally this pregnancy to fulfill my dream of feeling “safe” and “autonomous” during our second baby’s birth!!! we are located in Minnesota, i’ll also note the organizations i’ve worked with here locally (or that are available for you online)👇
- CHIROPRACTIC — Inspire Life Chiropractic Center
- i’ve been seeing our chiro doctors since Revan’s pregnancy (second trimester) — i attribute how GOOD i felt all throughout his pregnancy to our team! like i literally worked up until the day i went into labor with Rev
- some of the amazing benefits of chiropractic in pregnancy, and into birth:
- shorter length of labor
- decreased pain during labor
- getting baby into proper position
- better stress adaptability
- faster postpartum recovery
- lower risk of pre-term baby
- lower risk of c-section
- PELVIC FLOOR PHYSICAL THERAPY — Motion Physical Therapy
- i started noticing some things that just weren’t right with my body after such a tough labor: pain during intimacy, and i couldn’t even wear my wearable cup during my menstrual cycle. especially when i had done this for YEARS prior to birth
- my physical therapist is like a talk therapist, too — she is amazing in helping me work on my physical strength and positioning of my pelvic floor, but also meeting me mentally where i am at
- i’m restoring my relationship and trust with my body, and what she can do!
- TALK THERAPY — Ellie Mental Health
- i realized really quickly after Revan’s birth that i couldn’t process and deal with the unfortunate and unexpected trauma by myself. in order to be the parent my son needed (and for myself), i needed to be more mentally well.
- i have become a human i myself can be so proud of, and my adaptability to the stresses in my life is beyond anything i’ve experienced in the past. i truly believe that therapy should be required as a postpartum plan for birthing parent, no matter how easy/difficult your birth and healing looked like!!!
- HYPNOBIRTHING — KG Hypnobirthing
- my first labor was LONG and more difficult than i anticipated. and i’ll admit i am fearful of this second birth — will i be able to have a successful VBAC like i am planning?
- the words that i am keeping at the forefront of my mind are “safe”, “autonomous” and “calm”. even though things will probably shift and need to change, i want to be present in my body and be calm even through the waves of contractions
- this course is something new i am adding into my pregnancy prep routine, not only for me, but for my husband. i wished deeply that he was able to support me more when i was in labor with Revan — he felt very out of place, and i want him to feel confident in his role as my partner and birth supporter!
- ANXIETY/DEPRESSION MEDICATION —
- i have been deeply blessed (read as sarcasm) with the trio of mental health diagnosis: anxiety, depression and ADHD. i will never tell you that medication is 100% the answer for you, but this was very easily the best way i could be my own full-hearted human. depression takes the light out of my life and gives me a consistent cloud darkness + heaviness that is deeply unbearable.
- i see a medication management therapist through Ellie Mental Health here in the Twin Cities
what are some things you have prioritized in pregnancy and into birth that have served you well?
xoxo, Bethany | Certified Lactation Counselor | The Oversupply Mama
